The life of an intern isn’t completely as they claim. The they referring to those who have had and speak about internships, I guess. I mean, most interns do receive some form of monetary payment now, whether it be a stipend or hourly wage.
“Back in my day…”
No. We don’t want to hear it. With this said, I wouldn’t call it a livable wage, especially if you are relocating for the internship. Even more so if the company or organization doesn’t aid with moving services. What did you expect though? To be treated like an executive…a regular full-time employee? Come on: if the company was a medieval town: the CEO would be king; HR would be the trusted advisors; the one video guy in the office is expected to be the court jester; directors are part of the court; coordinators and managers are the blacksmiths, masons, and book-binders (no gold at this level); general employees like marketing, events, or communications are the farmers; the interns…well, you know what the interns are – the peasants.
Many companies have instituted a true intern program for networking, conferences, job fairs, outings, volunteering, and resume polishing. But. Others don’t. Be prepared for either. During your initial interview when the manager or supervisor asks if you have any questions: 1.) Always ask something, at least two things; 2.) Ask about their internship program. If they respond with something like, “well, our former interns are working for X and doing X now”, they don’t have an intern program. This shouldn’t be an immediate red flag, however. HR commonly sets up professional mentoring or your direct supervisor tries to get to know who they hired within a week and decides lunch at a local eatery is an unassuming choice (“intern choice”, of course; look up places you like in the area that fits your dietary or health needs in case of this precise situation because nobody likes that sudden pressure because yes, you can choose incorrectly and never, NEVER expect them to pay). One large aspect of interning is fitting into the workplace community. This includes your intern class and the long-tenured or full-time employees. Join full-timers for lunch, plan lunches with them, expand your interests and schedule a meeting with a Suit[1] outside of your department! Well, that’s what they’ll tell you. One thing I’ll objectively state is that most of your intern class will get closer over the course of your tenure.
What can make an unamusing internship tolerable, if not pleasing? Those whom with you surround yourself! The crop of interns will gradually grow comfortable as the term progresses. There will be those one or two that instantly attempt a gathering outside of work: these individuals typically have the right heart but misguided direction for the time. Nobody enjoys icebreakers except those in charge (I think they crave struggling grimaces and nervous blurts), an immediate implementation of hanging out is a 2-hour or longer icebreaker for some. You’ll notice a few tropes within your first two weeks:
· The Hype/Boom: Do you think you’re funny? Hang out with this intern as they’ll make feel much funnier than you are. This role could dabble into the much-forsaken Follower.
· The Extra-Hour: It is 5:00pm and time to go…or is it? More work to do! What work did your supervisor hand you that mine did not?!
· The Student: This has two subtypes, the one who only is in the internship for college credit/requirement and the one who is stresses about the internship not pinpointing their academic needs.
· The Talker: Does this person even work? These creatures are often the social wasps who tried to get that intern happy hour planned the first day. However, they easily transform into the Walker when given work.
· The Wannabe: Ah, the intern who anticipates being hired full-time at the company during or directly after their term. Although they can be as annoying as it would seem, it is okay because you won’t see much of them – You’re just an intern, after all.
· The Sarcastic One: If you think an intern is just rude, it is likely they have mastered this twisted form of sarcasm of which you cannot distinguish reality from joke. Loosen up and oddly chuckle to test the mood. If they smirk, sarcasm is present.
· The Sports Guru: This intern knows sports. In and out. Want to know who the Cy Young was in 1988 or the Heisman in 2003? Want to see somebody red-eyed and hungover after their team loses? This intern might also dabble in the infamous Bettor.
· The Fantasy Sports Guru: Unlike the Sports Guru, this is labelled for jest. This person loves cybercompetition and betting pools. They heavily watch sports and engage in virtual gameplay, but I urge you not to go to them for objective sporting opinions…or even subjective ones.
· The Religious One: If you haven’t attended a service for any religious practice, you’ll feel like you should be dropping coins for this person’s cause after talking with them. Is it what they say or how they say it? I remain unsure, but you’re motivated as fu*k.
· The Slacker: Unlike the Talker, the Slacker isn’t liked by most. Literally, how will this person function in the professional world? At least they know they don’t want to do this.
· The Devil’s Advocate: Do you have a brilliant idea? Do you think it deserves credit? It probably doesn’t if you’re in the same room as this intern. Let it be heard clearly: this intern probably knows politics and social events more than anybody else in the office. Sometimes, the Advocate becomes a salaried employee and morphs into The Micromanager, or your future supervisor.
· The Meathead: PUMP. YOU. UP. Arnold has nothing this intern’s regime – or rather current Arnold. If you’re self-conscious about what you bring for lunch, just smell this intern’s “meal”. They’ll convince you that 7 lunches before 2:30pm works best for their routine, so your megaburrito is just fine if you hit cardio the next morning.
· The City-Slicker: Oooo, the city is the best! Not the city you’re in though – theirs. They love their city through and through: the food, the landmarks, the history, the sports, the people, the bustle…the hustle. You’ll be hustled by this intern at least twice.
These are only a few of the type of interns you’ll come across in the working wild. The animal cage you’ll find yourself in to start your internship will become one of your few sanctuaries though. There will be those with vastly different opinions than your own, creatively or financially or socially or politically. They key is to have open conversation with them because it is religion and politics that many Millennials and Gen-Zers mark as an unwavering attribute to any relationship.
Lastly, be known for something. It can a large appeal and I want you to think broadly when mirroring yourself (humor, looks, fashion sense, hair color, social allegiances). Or, more strangely, it can be a character flaw or routine. These are worth listing out:
· You eat the same type of salad each day.
· You talk about your dogs…a lot.
· You go on a drunken rant during a happy hour.
· You have an abnormally long pinky toe.[2]
· You wear the same pants/day during the week; e.g. red on Wednesday.
· You called somebody in the office “Mom”.
· You tried telling a black intern a racist joke.
· You’re racist.
· You told a coordinator your favorite film was Heathers and now they fear you.
· You told people you hate scary movies like Olympus Has Fallen.
· You legitimately dislike music.
· You only listen to Country.
· You scream ANDROID POWER and toss your phone across the office.
· You eat sunflower shells but not the seed.
· You might maybe not perhaps have walked into an occupied stall.
· You clogged the office toilet.
o With all your bullsh*t.
· You say your favorite sport is mini golf.
· You ask somebody how to open Word.
· You spilled coffee in the breakroom and spent 45 minutes wiping it up.
· You prefer tea over coffee.
· You cussed in front of your boss’ family.
· You find out your related to your boss.
· You vape in the office.
· You ask how to get to the roof for a smoke break.
· You had a fake Western duel with another intern in the office.
· You wore joggers once and now people ask if you had a good workout this morning.
Animated moments during your internship are bound to occur and they can range from offering fish to somebody allergic or wearing pigtails for week. The best way to cope with instances such as these are live by them. Own your oddity – unless you’re the pinky toe freak, then just shut up.
Being an intern isn’t as frightening as some may say. It isn’t as useless, you do learn something. What interning guarantees is a clear head as to what you don’t want to do. I cannot sit here in the office of my intern company and claim you’ll find what you love. You’re interning in (usually) a single position and focus primarily on one department. I don’t expect you, post-term, to know what you exactly wish to do unless it was in the same department within the same company for which you just interned. But for me, I know I don’t want to edit videos that don’t impact a greater community. Others know they don’t want a typical 9-5 office setting. Or making calls each day to same type of people. Or traveling outside the state or country. Or researching topics that’ll never be used.
I’ll provide one piece of advice for you hungry animals: Stay fierce, stay smart, and don’t hibernate when winter rolls in.
[1] Suit: a bigwig; a higher-up within a company. They probably have their own office with a locking door and walls that reach from base to ceiling. This can be in form of a supervisor, manager, director, or even the CEO (for the bravest beasts in the jungle) given the size of the company is fair and schedules happen to be open.
[2] This is weird because sandals and flip-flops aren’t permitted. You tell people about your abnormally long pinky toe, you freak. Nobody is asking, so stop telling!
Comments